My former Burger King peeps should enjoy this. This past week I was talking with the sandwich artist at our local subway and as per usual my nearly nine year old daughter was listening with purpose. As the Subway employee regaled us with a story of dropping an entire pan of marinara sauce on the floor in the back I briefly mentioned that once while working at Burger King as a teenager I had played a part in spilling a ten pound bag of mustard all over the floor. My daughter immediately interrupted the conversation and said “Did you get fired?”. I informed her that I in fact was eventually fired from the BK Lounge as some call it but not for accidentally spilling mustard. No I was fired for my car breaking down on Easter Sunday.
That’s right fired on an Easter Sunday for something beyond my own control. What a pisser that was. Back then Burger King had a hierarchy of management that was ever changing. There were a few good people who managed to stay at one store but there was always a turn around every few months it seemed. On such turn around sent the store manager that had hired me across town and put the meanest woman I had ever meet in my eighteen years in charge of the store I worked at. She had been at the store a few months and for some reason had it out for Heather and I as we were dating at the time. Who knows why she was like that as we never let our relationship get in the way of our important job of flopping whoppers.
Well this mean woman with the attitude of a troll forced into sunlight sent down an edict that any whopper flopper who over Easter weekend does not show up for their shift will get fired. No matter the reason. No matter past work history. That was it. Well I had no reason to worry as I had never called out. In fact I threw news papers twice a day, attended high school and still worked nearly 30 hours week at the house of whoppers.
Easter Sunday rolled around and I was invited to attend a Jazz Brunch with Heather, her dad Tony, his wife and her daughters. What a blast it was. We all had a great brunch and spent the morning talking and dancing (I may have had one dance I’m not the boogie down type). We left and drove back to Heathers dad’s house I told them all goodbye and headed out for the short drive to my house to change into my BK gear and head to work. Well just as I approached Municipal Park the traffic was jammed up. Municipal Park on a beautiful Easter Sunday back then was a cluster. As I sat the car began to overheat, then shudder and just as I neared Forest Dale Drive the car died. Thankfully a police officer helped push the car up and onto the curb.
This being the days before a cell phone was easily available to those of lesser means I had but one option. Walk the couple of miles or so home. So in my Sunday best on a hot afternoon I walked home with purpose. It took me a little more than 20 minutes to make the walk that in a car would have taken less than four or five. My first call was to BK advising what had happened. Well guess what that mean troll fired me right then and there over the phone. All I could think was what a bitch. I mean who does that and on Easter of all days. That was the only time I have ever been fired and I can honestly say in a roundabout way I am better for it. Although it did lead to months of night porter duty at another Burger King which was at times a scary experience.
"I didn’t want to call it Burger King so I called it the BK lounge. " Dane Cook
